Dear Bailey #1: Pregnant Boss

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Dear Bailey is One Revere’s advice column. Submit questions by replying to this email.

Dear Bailey,

Hope you’re doing well! I love reading your newsletter. I have an office dilemma for you…

My boss is pregnant and is especially….um moody. Lol. We’re also really close friends so navigating workplace conflicts can sometimes be difficult. I’ve had some frustrations at work recently. I feel like my boss has been doubting my ability to get things done and has purposely kept me out of some key projects that I should be more involved with. I have several examples but I’ll keep it at that. She says it’s because I have been having trouble keeping up with my overflowing email lately and has called me out for it in staff meetings. Which yes, I have ranted to her about my email inbox, but who doesn’t have this problem? She also didn’t want me going on a work trip in May because I was taking 1 day of PTO in April, which has never been a problem in the past – I travel for work frequently. All of this is a little out of character for her and I’m sure it’s related to the pregnancy. So my question is – do I bring up how I’m feeling or do I wait it out and hope she goes back to her usual self after the baby comes in the fall?

-I’m Trying Hard Over Here

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Dear I’m Trying Hard Over Here,

I can feel how much you want to keep your friend, and boss, happy and impressed with your ability to excel at your job. As someone who went to business school with you, I certainly do not underestimate your ability to accomplish anything you set your mind to (inbox optimization included). You pose an interesting dilemma that is challenging to answer as a man who will never feel the hormonal changes that a pregnant woman does. However, I can definitely give you an external opinion that should at least give you a fresh perspective.

On one hand, you may be feeling worried about your friend who is experiencing mood swings that she has no control over, but I can promise you this: while it’s nice to sympathize with your friend’s pregnancy, your boss should still treat you with respect.

While I respect your boss’s transparency in managing your overflowing email (albeit, should’ve done so in private and not during a public staff meeting), she totally misses the mark on leveraging your talent. A manager’s job is to build your skillset and include you in challenging work so that you can gain new skills, build your career, and help the company grow. Your boss purposefully excluding you from projects that you’re eager to be apart of is a toxic work environment that you shouldn’t accept under any circumstance. If her baby is due this Fall, that’s a 6 month bottleneck in your career progression.

To answer your question: I actually think it’s important to have a discussion with your boss. But, don’t assume her management style has changed because she’s pregnant. Approach the conversation in private (the way you want to be treated… the opposite way she treated you) and with grace. The next time she calls you out in a meeting or excludes you from a project, ask her what you can do differently to become a better asset to the team. Let your boss know that your #1 goal is to be the best team member possible and that you can make a significant impact on these projects! Truthfully, if she doesn’t work with you at that point then find a company that appreciates your talents.

Best,
Bailey

_{Written by Bailey Hepler}

DEAR BAILEY

Yep, I’m now taking questions! Respond to this email with an office dilemma and I will include it in next week’s newsletter with my thoughts 🙂

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